you're just not that into me

dont mind the ugly picture, it's the only one that's been taken recently, since i've been away for the holidays.
life would not be the same without toblerones. you have no idea what you're missing if you've never had it. and you also have no idea how much of it i've been eating in the past days.

my christmas was okay, my new year will most likely be the same, even though i pray hard for it to be great.
actually i kind of wish i would've just stayed home, i would've avoided disappointment.
i kind of hate when people don't turn out to be who you thought they were, or who they seemed to be during your first impression of them. i should simply finally learn that it is not good to have expectations. but i can't help it. maybe there is just nothing to do about it.
maybe i'm just looking for something too great, maybe i'm the problem after all, maybe i just cannot be satisfied with anything or anybody.
i don't like when things start getting old, when relationship slowly dies, when people change.
i want things to be exciting and fun, all the time. i want people to be how i like them to be all the time. i want to be contented with everything.

but this is me asking too much.

although i feel like it's not that much.

it's not like i'm asking for luxurious cars, a mansion, an academy award, and a few magazine covers.

i've got nothing planned for the day. i'm kinda glad about that. i missed not doing anything.

i'm quite contradicting myself, aren't i?

i want attention and people around me, but then wanna be alone.

oh, god.

well, well, well

here is another picture from the shoot i did of my sister, i think i like it even more than the first one.

i'm writing this update mostly to say that i won't be updating this blog for a little while. i will be busy with christmas and new year. but wait, aren't we all going to be? so in the end, there is just no point in me updating during this period of time!

i've been shooting for the past three days. especially doing the photoshoots for impolite. i am so exhausted, i have the biggest headache ever, so i will make this short.

i hope you guys will have an amazing christmas, i can't even belive that christmas is in like 2 days, or a day. it's insane, it doesn't feel like christmas, at all.

and also, if i don't post before, happy new year!

i feel regret

i've finally got some time on my hands to use my camera again, it makes me so happy, you have no idea. i bought my new camera back in september and this is like, the first time i get to use it for a serious photoshoot! the model in the picture is my sister. we were trying out the new lights that i bought for the studio i've set up at home. expect to see a lot of my photography in the near future because i don't plan on stopping it anytime soon!

under the mistletoe

since we got good feedbacks for our first video, we decided to make a second one! we don't consider ourselves funny or anything, so don't expect the video to be funny. we're just having a lot fun making them.

or click here for the link to the video

awkward me

sometimes it's interesting to see what's behind the scene.

i don't know

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore

I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore

When we think it will all become clear

‘Cuz I’m being taken over by the fear

the general specific

i'm almost proud of myself for being so faithful to this website, you guys gotta admit, this is real dedication, posting almost everyday? i've never done any such thing before, it's addicting though!

today, sandrine and i are planning on working on our new video! we promised we'd have a new one eventually, and we're living up to our promise. we aren't sure yet what the subject of the video is going to be, and we figured it might be better to have one this time, just so our video doesn't end up being called "i've got nothing to say part two". but you know, christmas is coming soon, so our video might be related to that! we're also planning a lovely trip to wal mart today (yes, we're losers), so maybe we can somehow put some of that in our video.

i changed the songs of the media player, just so you have some fresh new music to listen to while you read my blog! i'm sorry if i didn't before, i had totally forgotten about it. so, those songs are pretty much what i've been listening to lately.

i almost forgot. today. today. not in a year. not in a month. today. december the 16th. the all american rejects have a new cd coming out called "when the world comes down". i've been a big fan of them for so long, and this cd has to be their best one. i didn't know what to expect, and i was scared they'd change their style of music and make it all fake and techno like basically every other bands recently, but NO! the same old all american rejects that i enjoy listening to. like drug for my ears or my brain? whatever makes more sense. so make sure you go out today, and purchase their cd. support a great band! support music!

what's the meaning?

lately i've been relating my life to a few songs in a way that i never have before, and i find it strange. of course, it probably happened to you too, at least once, since it is basically the whole point of music. but, listen to me. it's to a point where i almost feel like my life is a musical. i'm not crazy, i swear. i just happen to find those songs that i can relate to so well, i could stop talking and simply play songs. maybe it never happened to me before for the simple reason that i never really cared about the lyrics. i usually like a song for it's music, or the singer. everything is different now though, i'm becoming obsessed with lyrics. i want to find their meaning, i want to know what's really behind them, and i want to write my own. is it possible to develop a psychological dependency to words? i wonder.

i'm done school, and i'm so glad i am. this semester was terrible. i considered dropping out of school so many times over the past months, i'm just not interested anymore. i don't have the motivation to keep going. only one more semester, after christmas holidays, and then it's finally over. but not really? then i have to either go to university for another couple of years, or find myself a serious job. to be honest, i don't feel like i fit in any of those two categories. i just wanna be me, i just wanna do what i wanna do when i want to, i just wanna have my little projects and use all my time to work on them. isn't it what we all want though? maybe, maybe not. as much as i feel like we're all so different, i also feel like we're all the same. in the end, we all want the same thing, whether we admit it or not. and you wanna know how i've been enjoying my first few days of vacation? i did nothing. nothing. nothing! well, i have done a few things, but nothing too groundbreaking. i wake up, i shower, i eat, i read, i draw, i watch movies, i eat again, i watch tv shows, i stay up late and god knows why, and then finally i go to bed. the next day, it starts all over again. i'm not complaining, i love it. i'm starting to feel a little weird though, i haven't gone out of my house for three days, but hey, i need a break! you can't blame me. and as though i feel like i haven't been productive, i also feel like i've been the most productive i have been in forever. i've worked on impolite, i'm done painting/drawing/editing all the designs, and the clothes are now in production. i've been updating my websites. i've been socializing or whatever it is. i've read books i've been meaning to read for so long. i've watched movies i own on dvd and never even watched before. that's quite productive to me.

i should start going out a little bit though, after all, i've still got more than a month of vacation. and, my dad is sick, and i'm so scared to just be in the same house. being sick is the worst thing ever, and i don't wanna get sick too just because he is. i'm making sure i'm taking my c vitamins every morning.

i feel like this post doesn't mean anything, or doesn't make any sense, i will stop here.

four christmases

my friends called me last minute last night to ask me to go to the movies, and even though i hate when people ask me to do things last minute, i'm sure glad i went!

at first, we were supposed to go see "the day the earth stood still" and to be honest, i was hoping we wouldn't go see it. it looks kinda dumb. i'm kinda tired of all those end of the world movies, i think we've had enough. plus, i feel like the earth isn't doing so well in real life, so why make movies about it when it's now a real issue? haha

anyway, we ended up seeing four christmases, and even though i'm not a big fan of the lead actor, vince vaughn, i loved it. it seriously was the funniest movie i've seen this year. reese witherspoon was so cute in it!

guess what?

i'm officially on christmas break! yay!

the only problem is that i don't have a clue what exactly i'm gonna do yet! maybe travel around, but for sure, i will keep working hard on the new clothes for impolite, that's my main priority right now.

i just sent the first few designs to production, but i'm considering working on a few more designs, the more the better! right? well i do hope so.

i'm also very happy with the feedbacks i've got on the youtube video that sandrine and i made last weekend. we really did not expect you guys to like it, so thank you. we will try to make another one soon, it should be up by next weekend or early next week, just in time for christmas!